To the woman who is new to the Mom’s Club: Welcome! It’s genuinely lovely to meet you. You treat your child with such love, such patience, that I wish I was more like you. You’re an inspiration.
I will probably never tell you this because, you know, the risk of social awkwardness. Which, not to brag or anything, I excel at that… What I will share with you is that it takes time to make true friends. Or at least it did for me.
Back in my day, when I first joined the club (a year and a half ago), I didn’t know many people in the area. My family and my husband’s family are much more than Let’s Grab Lunch apart. I had decided to stay at home rather than going back to work, and there were times I felt very much alone.
The play dates helped. It was fun to see other little faces exploring their still-new world, and to hear that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what to do when your baby fell asleep in the car. Do you hang out in the car indefinitely? Or risk a transfer to their crib? Maybe bring the whole car seat with you?
It was tough to finish a sentence at most events, let alone a conversation. It took me several play dates to get to know a fellow mama.
And then some of the new mommies returned to work after awhile. When I learned they were reentering the work force, I felt like throwing myself at their feet, begging them not to leave. I knew their kids would be in great hands, but what about me? What about us??
As time continued, I met other moms. Moms with kids close in age to my son. Moms with social graces generous enough to handle my quirks. Moms who I shared things with I wouldn’t normally say out loud.
These moms became my new family. I know that in a pinch, each of them would be there for my son if anything came up. I am so blessed.
If awkward me was lucky enough to forge these friendships, then I have no doubt that you’ll find some BFFs, too. It’s just tough when you are new and other moms have already bonded over their kids’ diaper leaks, and sleep standing, and trying to teach sharing. It may be hard to imagine now, but there will be a point when your social calendar will be full. When you’ll be desperate to find the time to catch up with your friends, instead of hoping another mom, any mom, will be free to grab a cup of coffee.
Another thing you should know is that we are a village. If you need anything, anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask. If you need someone to watch your child, I’m usually around. If you sign up for a meal train, I’ll be one of the first people to volunteer. We – and most certainly I – have your back.
Mark your calendar for one year from when you first joined our Mom’s Club. I will bet you a cup of coffee that your social calendar will be too packed to take advantage of my bet. 😊